Grumbling, Complaining, and Disputing

Have you ever known someone who was endlessly negative for no reason? Or maybe they had a reason, but their pessimism or cynicism seemed to far outweigh the circumstances they find themselves in. I would imagine we all know someone we would describe as a “Debbie Downer” or “Negative Nelly.” Maybe that person is us! We can sometimes look at a situation around us or be frustrated by something in our lives and be tempted to despair. The Bible repeatedly warns against “grumbling, complaining, and disputing,” but does that mean we are never allowed to be upset ever? Certainly not. Let’s look at a few examples.

Paul wrote his letter to the Philippians from a prison cell. In this letter, he is clear-eyed about the pros and cons of his situation, and writes to them: “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise, you also should be glad and rejoice with me…”

I don’t know about you, but I cannot think of anything that would make me more sheepish than an apostle who had endured as much suffering as Paul writing me a letter from prison telling me not to whine or complain! Paul’s positivity despite his circumstances is infectious in his Philippian letter, and he does not at all complain about his imprisonment, but rather expresses gratitude for the opportunity to tell his fellow inmates and guards about Jesus (1:12-14)! It is clear throughout Paul’s life that he is optimistic at every turn about the ways the gospel is advancing and the hope that he has in Christ despite whatever he is going through in his life. As he states so poignantly in Romans 8:18, “[f]or I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” We are eagerly awaiting something eternally better than any of the negative that this world could throw at us. In the words of the author of Hebrews, quoting from Psalm 118:6, “the Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” In other words: we belong to God and He is watching out for us; what is there to complain about?

To put it bluntly: God’s people are not whiners!

However, I want to be clear: there is nothing wrong with experiencing sorrow, loss, and heartbreak, and sharing those things with God. There was nothing wrong with Job sitting on the ash heap, devastated and silent. There was nothing wrong with the Psalmist in Psalm 88 pouring out his heart to God and nothing at all positive coming to mind at the time.  There was nothing wrong with David weeping, fasting, and desperately praying that his child would live when God told him that he would not. There was, however, a major issue with Job’s wife’s response to their great loss being “curse God and die” (2:9). There was, in fact, a problem with Jonah being angry with God for extending His great mercy to the Ninevites. There is an issue with, like Sarah, laughing in God’s face when He promises to do something remarkable and unexpected. It is sinful, in fact, to be so ungrateful for God’s former deliverance and provision that we gripe and blame and despair when we are required to have patience or do not get our way immediately, like the Israelites in the wilderness.

Despite the fact that God certainly wants us to cry out to Him in times of trouble, we should never be the type of people who complain in a way that is rooted in bitterness, ungratefulness, or disdain for our fellow man. We are to demonstrate the fruit of the spirit—“love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control”—and always speak graciously, in a way that is “seasoned with salt” (Galatians 5:22-23, Colossians 4:6). As we see so powerfully demonstrated in the life of Paul, the Christian life is one rooted in thankfulness for immeasurable forgiveness, innumerable blessings, and ultimately, eternal life.

With the cross behind us and heaven before us, how could we complain?